I am in shock I think??? Is this normal? Was I naive about this operation? How can I help myself?
The benefits are still there if I can see them through the pain that is racking my body. My left arm and leg feel strangled and there is an adrenaline rush coursing through my whole body making it feel like hot liquid sluicing (really wanted to use that word in a sentence) around.
The only thing that makes my body feel okay is if I do nothing. This is not an option as the first paragraph tells you because of the decision I’ve made.
The doctor seems to think I need my device adjusted which I so agree with and I also need to let my muscles re-learn things. This is big! At the age of 36 we normally know our strengths and limitations – now I don’t know anymore! So, wow!
I might as well wipe the slate clean and start again – no expectations!