Wednesday, July 7, 2010


“There are some things success is not, it’s not fame, it’s not money or power.
Success is, waking up in the morning so excited about what you have to do, to literally fly out the door. It’s getting to work with people you love. Success is connecting with the world and making people feel. It’s finding a way to bind together people that have nothing in common but a dream. It’s falling asleep at night knowing you did the best job you could. Success is joy and freedom and friendship. And success is love.” – FAME

I think I am successful. What about you?

Life is full of surprises!

If someone told me two years ago that I would be where I am today medically and fighting to get this op into the Public hospital. I would have said, “In your dreams!”

I am really surprised that the operation and recovery went so smoothly. I honestly thought I would be out of action for some time. Instead I was ready to go again in four days??? There have been a few ups and downs. Having the lesion on my brain that made me instantly better was really frightening. I missed my twitches. Before I got used to the new ‘me’, the improvements disappeared because the lesion healed and I felt sad. Now I have slowly progressed and it is easier to deal with but harder to see the improvements.
The improvements I feel are:
I can sit quieter
I can feed myself easier
I can push myself easier
I can crawl easier (the stairs at fusion don’t take so much out of me).

Life is so different and although it’s exciting, it’s scary. I feel like a baby discovering my hands again. What are these and what can they do for me?

It’s hard being ‘wired up’. About two weeks after my op I thought, ‘What have I done? I have foreign objects in my body.’ I think its going to take a while to be comfortable and confident with them.

It’s hard not knowing what to expect and I am determined to count my blessings and appreciate what I’ve got and not look at what I might get, or what I haven’t got yet. It’s also hard because I do want to strive forward and try and do new things. I still want to walk, even though no one with my disability that has done DBS has walked.

I have no regrets and if nothing changed from this point on I know that I am a lot better off. There is another part of me that doesn’t want to let my doctor down and I also want to give the trial good results. Ultimately it’s not up to me. It’s up to how my brain responds to the device and how my brain re-maps itself. But ultimately it’s up to God and how he wants to use me - I’ve made peace with this. I am just a tool of His - a good place to be.

Fighting to get this op into the Public hospital
Ok, so I hate injustice, especially in the medical field. Working with the TV crew has been great and to know they are taking this cause seriously is wonderful!

What is it with me and people lately? I love them. I keep meeting these amazing people with beautiful hearts. Is it my age? Is it the brain surgery? Is it God? What a privilege. I’ve come to realise that my goal in life is to ‘love’ people and to encourage them. Great gifts everyone deserves!

- Martha

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