Anger

I have had a problem with feeling really angry lately and I can’t say it’s a nice feeling. It makes me feel very tired and sad. It infiltrates into all my relationships and clouds my day. Anger is a secondary emotion brought about by other emotions such as fear and helplessness.

I have felt helpless about things happening in my life around me especially when I can see that things are not being done properly and that this could lead to more trouble or pain, which then sets the ‘fear’ emotion off.

I keep telling myself that these are other peoples decisions that they will have to live with in the end. They are decisions I cannot persuade. Ultimately God is in control!

- Martha

High Tea

Andrew had his 40th birthday party on Saturday and it was awesome.
We decorated the back veranda with curtains and matching tables and chairs. Kathryn from Tealightful Tea Parties did the rest. She brought the silverware and crockery and also the food and the serving stands. I only had to supply the Champaign and the cake. Everyone had a magical time. Towards the end of the day it rained and we had to pack up in record time as the rain blew in. People still hung around and we cut the cake.

The set up was everything I wanted and I’m glad it was nice for Andrew. I wanted to make it special for him as he is always soo good to me..

I would highly recommend a High Tea Party!

- Martha

Hair cut

Four and a half months after my operation I finally plucked up enough courage to get my hair cut. It was a very scary experience as I didn’t want the hair dresser to accidently stick the scissors in my head. I happened to scare the hairdresser and so every two minutes she would ask me if I was okay and if I needed a break. To her credit she was really careful and she did a great job. My next hurdle is colouring my hair which is not as scary and I will go back to the same place for that.

There is about five weeks to go before I discover the truth about my device and I will start setting new goals. I am comfortable with where I am at and am in no hurry for things to change. I have a lot happening socially and so I have put my device on the back burner so to speak.

- Martha

The Slow Decline

It has been about 5 weeks since I went for the big appointment and I think I’m definitely off. I have been noticing that I gradually twitching more – I thought I would be more scared but I am not – its almost comfortable.

Since my holiday things have really settled down for me mentally – I am no longer anxious about what is happening. I am more able to take it in my stride and get on with life. All I can really attribute it to is having rested and restored my mind enough so that I think clearer and I am not reacting from an exhausted state.

I have a few exciting things coming up – Andrew’s 40th High Tea and a FunRun! I am looking forward to both of these and I have a few things to prepare before the party so I should be kept busy!

- Martha