Monday, May 24, 2010

From Wanting a Baby to Brain Surgery

Okay, so in 11 days I am having my operation and I am pondering how it all happened. How did I come to this point in my life? It was definitely a set of events that occurred one after the other and it probably started with my wanting to have a baby.

At the age of 30 my biological clock was booming. I wanted a baby. I did some research, followed the direction and……nothing.

After a while I knew something was wrong. I went to see a doctor who tested both of us and the results were a BIG HUMUNGOUS (life changing) shock! We were told the only way we would conceive a child was through infertility treatment. It sounded like a piece of cake but it wasn’t.

The more cycles I did, the more depressed I got. My GP was not supportive and so after 15 year with this GP I went and sought a new one. My new GP is my ‘angel’. She wanted to make me feel better and be more comfortable. After getting me on the right anti-depressant medication she suggested I go see a Neurologist for my disability. Dr Woods was lovely – I saw him twice and by the second visit he had researched who to send me to next. A Dr Krause who was new to Australia from Germany. He was leading a trial at the hospital 5 minutes away from home on my disability. Is this not fate??

So here I am 11 days away from an operation that could remove my twitches and free me up to be more independent.

My questions are: Is this a path that God had laid out for me to travel? It feels like it. I have not sought out any of this. It has just fallen in my lap.
Do we all have a path to walk set for us? Do we get to choose much at all? I know that trying to have a baby was all wrong because of the struggle it was. I was trying to lay a new path (I am not a road worker obviously).

I do have a niggle of, What if this is another disappointment? But I am at peace about it now so I will keep going with it. Obviously right now I am on the right path.

- Martha

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